The Furiously Fragmented Feral Feline
(OR - "That Cat's A Freakin' NUTBAG!")
|Website:||The FERAL ONE'S Zazzle Store, "OuterBohemia"|
|Location:||Virginia Beach, Virginia, United States|
its kind of complicated.
~ Outer Bohemia ~
Unique merchandise featuring
her own original artwork
i am the most bewildering, most EXTREME case of personality contradictions & behavior that could be possible.
I am hot & cold - tender/sensitive/caring/compassionate - then cold-blooded/merciless/evil.
You'd really think me multiple personality. But Im not.
Just bi-polar & post-traumatized.
I have a BLAST with both conditions too!
Insanity CAN be fun! Its all about how you see it, & whether the CONDITION(s) in control of YOU - or if YOU strong-arm control over your condition away & keep a steely grip on it!
My cold-blooded side is never aggressive or directed or triggered by well-meaning people.
It is a righteous rage. A champion of the weak, defenseless, gentle & innocent.
In short, I detest, despise, & am homicidal toward bullies, sickos, monsters & other deliberately cruel & abusive jerks.
I must avoid them at all costs - because I become calculated, frighteningly calm/controlled/intent, & - well - the logical little me is powerless to control that terrifying entity. It towers menacingly, the muscles of its massive back rippling, powerful shoulders squared, glowering over the world with a black, homicidal, expressionless stare. It is HUGE in me, & incredibly focused - unstoppable.
So, I avoid people like those I mentioned, because I know, Id GIVE them 20 years - without a flinch.
But then - the other side of me is unbelievably loving, empathetic, caring, wise, positive, artistic, gentle, generous, kind, nurturing.
Which side of this enigma will YOU awaken?
Scratched, snapped, snarled, fought, bit , chewed & TORE my way up from poverty, abandonment, mental-physical-emotional abuse, parental alcoholism-drug addiction-mental illness-violence, terror, blackness, forced full adult responsibility for 5 younger siblings from 13 years of age, escape at 17, homelessness, starvation, domestic abuse, utter aloneness, loss of 7 babies (2 fullterm w/ severe physical birth defects), fought fiercely through college, made a name for myself in Hampton Roads radio for years, & best of all - became a mother finally, of my 12 lb. 3 1/2 oz baby boy Ryan, in '82 - now 30 - & every mothers wet dream.
Thank You, loving Great Spirit!
Since, I have survived a vicious arson in '99, lost 5 precious loved ones in this, crawled broken for years after, homeless again, hopeless, became a drug addict in my severe PTSD state, & finally, rose again to my feet, w/ His watchful eye, tender mercies & help from some awesomely wonderful good people out there - & through all of this - I still smile, laugh, & thank my loving Great Spirit above, for never leaving me, providing just enough that I might live, & today, I find my greatest joy in mentoring others who suffer, grieve, & feel as I once did.
I thump NO bibles, need no organized temples, churches, synagogues, mosques, chapels, cathedrals & the like - for HIS universal house of worship is within every soul, every heart, every living thing, the air we breathe, the earth we walk.
But I feel the Great Spirit move my being, mind & heart most, beholding the power & majesty of the awe-inspiring oceans - & when I lift my eyes to His fathomless celestial kingdom, I behold the billowing endlessness of it all - & a hushed trance of rapturous reverie envelops all senses, & - I pray - Soundlessly - & after everything i have survived -
There is Joy.
|Interests:||129: abuse, account codes, alcohol, american, animals, arson, art, beach, blogging, camping, cats, children, chow chows, cocaine, codes, codesharing, comedy, compassion, conservation, crack, creativity, cursing, dd-707, dogs, drawing, dysfunction, education, emotion, environment, ethical, ethics, extraterrestrial, family, farming, felines, feral, fire, fishing, fitness, forest, fuck, gardening, german shepherds, god, green, head, healing, health, heaven, heroin, hiking, homeless, horror, horses, indian, insanejournal, insanity, integrity, intelligence, intelligent, iroquois, iskenderun, jim dotson, kids, kindness, kittehs, kittens, kitties, kitty, life, marijuana, mark calloway, mediterranean, mental, military, mirador, moral, mountain climbing, mutts, native, nature, naval, navy, norfolk, ocean, officer, painting, pamela barrett, paranormal, parenting, pets, philosophy, poetry, police, porn, pot, power, prison, prostitution, psychology, rappelling, rats, reptiles, rescue, retired, rock, security, seminole, sex, smackdown, snakes, soley, spirit, spirituality, survival, trees, turkey, tweeting, twitter, ufo, ufology, undertaker, veteran, virginia, weed, wilderness, wrestling, writing, wwe|
|Schools:||Floyd E. Kellam High School - Virginia Beach, VA (1972 - 1975)|
Tidewater Community College - Virginia Beach, VA (1981 - 1983)
|Mutual Friends:||2: lascruces, squeaky|
|Member of:||7: codeshare, dreminem3, fuzzykids, newcomers, paranormal_news, premium_users, straycatstruttr|
|Account type:||Permanently Insane|